Waking happy and invigorated this morning I was reminded of a deep conversation I had with a dear friend a few months ago.
We have been told often that patience is a virtue. And in my life often a valuable tool when communicating. On the contrary, when we don’t exhibit patience and/or restraint then we lose trust and relationships get dented.
So, let’s ponder the difference between having patience and being patient. How having a bit more in both areas may significantly improve our relationships. Especially the relationships that mean so very much to us.
My friend provided these observations…“Having patience” is how we inwardly behave or ideally, gracefully accept delays on what we desire or feel we need.
“Being patient” is more how we outwardly project our willingness to wait for what we desire without anger or creating ill feelings to those or what or who we are being patient with.
The experience of parenthood teaches us the virtue of patience as we watch these little beings we are responsible for assisting to maneuver through the stages of life. Children assist us to slow down and be patient and enjoy moments through fresh eyes. Do they test our patience or do we simply become impatient?
We as leaders also demonstrate “being patient” to achieve the results we want with those we lead. Our followers, like our children, are growing in their roles. We at times must painfully watch from afar to allow their own journey and growth while not hovering over them or stepping in or on their process. Yes, I know the world, the client, the deadline, the organization etc. may not accept complacency. I am asking you to consider to be more accepting and with grace. Allow others to be who they said they wanted to be. Remember that making mistakes is growth and leads to success in learning.
As parents, leaders and coaches we struggle many times to be patient and have patience when projects are not on target or you didn’t get your way. Then ask the right questions, listen a bit more intently and breathe as you consider options. Four to five seconds to pause and consider what needs to be said if anything at all. Please exercise patience more often. Imagine if we were patient or had patience a bit more often in 2020 with all those in our life!
Remember, they are watching you. Lead by example and ask, “How are you occurring?” Have patience, be patient and have fun leading.