It was a beautiful morning in Denver as the weather is becoming crisp with the amazing colors of fall beginning to appear.
I was deep into a long bike ride and began to replay a long conversation I had with a group of clients the week before regarding Expectations vs Agreements. Some of them just couldn’t get their heads around why their expectations of others were not working. And why should there be a need to create agreements with those in their life especially those who follow them even be necessary. In short, why don’t they just do as I say/expect say some leaders? Great question.
I had been sharing the words of the great Steve Candler with this group for over two years now both in group settings and individual coaching sessions that expectations only have two outcomes. One is okay or neutral…your expectations are met. And another is not good…your expectations are not met.
So why do so many individuals continue to set expectations when then have the ability to create agreements? That is a question for each of us who want better relationships with people who really matter and want different results going forward. Because almost everything we do involves someone else. And when considering only ‘you’ when looking in the mirror of self-talk, do you talk about what you expect? If so, you aren’t listening. However, if you talk with yourself about agreeing to honor your word, I am pretty sure you won’t let yourself down. We as human beings don’t want to disappoint those in our life but more powerfully, we don’t want to break OUR word. Let’s give this some thought.
Attached is an audio recording from Steve Chandler who has invested a lot of time on the subject of Expectations v Agreements. My recommendation is to listen to the first 5 to 6 minutes. Please listen with an open mind and ask yourself why this simple principle is so difficult for us to get our head around. What if you put this into play? Your relationships with everyone in your life would improve and at the very least come from a place of truth.
I have known Steve for years. He has written many books, put out several audio recordings to help those around him improve. Listen thoroughly and I believe you will agree that expectations of others are not powerful at all. In fact, they lack integrity and really don’t hold anyone accountable.
You want one thing that will change the trajectory for the remainder of 2019 and help you set up 2020 for success…
Please stop expecting and start creating …. AGREEMENTS!